How To Deal With Difficult People

I got an interesting suggestion from one of my email subscribers. He asked me how he can deal with difficult people. And I think this is a very common problem most people face, so I decided to write about it.

To understand how to deal with "difficult people", we first need to understand the nature of reality. I will explain in short here:

1. Each of us lives in our own reality/hologram, even though it looks like we are all together as equal participants. We are not equal participants.

2. Each of us is the only Operant Power in our own reality. If I compare life to a fiction book, then each of us is the ONLY author of our own individual books (called our reality/life/universe).

3. Everyone in our individual reality is "ourselves pushed out". This simply means that everyone else in our individual reality is a character from our own fiction book. They seem to have free-will but they don't. God gives each person complete dominion over their own realities. So how others behave, or how "others" are, depends on a few things: i) your own self-concept ii) your beliefs/assumptions about that other person iii) your beliefs & assumptions about people in general, and iv) your beliefs and assumptions about life in general. The strongest reason among those is our own self-concept. If there is an underlying subconscious belief that "people don't respect me", or "People don't listen to me", or, "this particular person is disrespectful" etc, that other person will behave disrespectfully. They don't have a choice but to act according to our own subconscious program. We all exist in infinite variations. So which variation of someone shows up in your reality depends basically on you! 

4. Do not take the above as other people's poor behavior being blamed on you. No, not at all. This is to tell you you are extremely powerful. It is just showing you that you are not a victim to anyone. You can change how someone behaves with you. And that simply means you have the power to choose which variation of them is in your reality. You could choose to have the nicest version of anyone in your reality - you are THAT powerful.

5. Also, this is not about blaming you because most of the time we are not even aware of the programs held within our subconscious minds! And it is the subconscious mind program that determines our experiences. So this is not about blaming you or me when someone else behaves badly. It is simply an invitation to sit back as the only author of your story, and think, "So I didn't like that. And that means a belief or program within my subconscious needs to be changed so that this difficult person becomes a really wonderful person". You don't need to confront that person. You don't need to convince them to do anything. You don't even need to talk to them about it! That's the beauty of this process! All you need to do is change something within you so that your subconscious mind creates experiences that you like.

6. You are not manipulating anyone by doing this. All you are doing is, changing your subconscious programs so that you choose which variation of a person interacts with you. And you have the full right to change anything within you.

7. Think of life as a video game with different levels of limitations to cross. In life, we are doing that by training our own minds, so that our minds don't run on autopilot, but our minds work as obedient servants to our soul-selves. That's all this is about.

So coming back to the difficult people. How do you deal with difficult people?

By changing and fine-tuning our own subconscious selves so that we experience cooperative, wonderful people.

How do we do that?

By many different conscious manifesting methods. Some common methods are Affirmations (eg: "I am respected", "People are somehow always so nice to me!", "Everyone loves me", "I am loved", "People love to cooperate with me", "XYZ is exceptionally fun to work with - he/she is also so pleasant and cooperative", and so on), Afformations (eg: "Why is everyone so cooperative with me?", "Why does everyone love me so much?", "Why is XYZ always so pleasant to deal with?", and so on), Visualization (imagine this difficult person XYZ behaving in a very pleasant, cooperative, fun way with you so that you and XYZ are having a really good time with each other). 

Make sure you persist in this process.

It took time to create this difficult experience. So it might take some time to change it to a pleasant experience. Do not give up, and whatever manifesting method you choose, do not give up. Keep practicing it till your chosen reality shows up, and becomes permanently that way. To make a change permanent, make sure you change your self-concept from "a person who has to deal with this difficult person" to "a person who always has pleasant people to work with".

Do not allow yourself to think negatively about the "difficult person".

I'm not asking you to do this to turn you into a saint (even though there is nothing wrong with being a saint). I'm asking you to not think negatively about this person because whatever you think will be heard by your subconscious mind, and your subconscious mind will create that experience for you without thinking whether you like it or not - the subconscious does not differentiate between good & bad. It just does whatever it is hearing you think. And because you want to change your experience with this person from being a difficult person to a wonderfully pleasant person, your thoughts should be like, "XYZ is so awesome to work with!", "I remember when XYZ used to be a difficult person, but now he/she is one of the most pleasant people I know!".

You do not need to believe your affirmations/thoughts/afformations/visualization etc.

All you need to do is to bring up the feelings of how you will feel if what you were affirming were true. That's all. Do not needlessly try to make yourself believe it because your conscious mind will not believe something till it sees it. So don't waste your effort on that. You will only meet with resistance if you try to force yourself to believe it. Instead, persist with the process no matter what, feel the emotions as if your desire was already fulfilled, think as if your desire was already fulfilled, and refuse to think negatively no matter what. 

Do not keep checking for evidence if the person is changing or not.

Stay totally faithful to your manifestation process, and to your new imagination. And when you do that, you will see the person change. Just to remind you, "change" simply means, you will bring into your reality the desired version of that person.

Do read Neville Goddard's books, and you will understand this entire process really well. His books can sometimes be a slightly difficult read because he is a mystic from the early to mid-1900s, so his writing style is kind of old. But his work has changed my life, and it can change your life too. And if you don't feel like reading his books, stay tuned with my blogs, emails, my academy, youtube channel, and you will learn all about what he taught and a lot more.

Life and the manifestation process are actually just a way towards self-realization. It is a method to understand our strong connection to God, God's purpose in creating us, and in understanding how we are all one. It is not just about "getting things" or "getting our way". It is to show you who you truly are.

Much love,